6 lessons I learnt at 26

Autumn is when I change.

Maybe because my birthday is in September, or maybe it’s because September marks the start of my favourite, and the best season. I kind of love Autumn, can you tell?

Every year is a challenge, no matter how prepared you may be. That’s been my experience. In many ways, twenty-six was a great year for me, but it was also one of the hardest, and I’ve learnt a great deal. In my own way, I need a list of those lessons, sort of an etched reminder of things I should remember, because retrospect can be a kind.

So here are 6 lessons I learnt at 26.

It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out.

Everyone grows at their own pace and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. At my age, everyone is having babies and getting married, and I still eat soup for dinner every night because I’m too lazy to feed myself. Some people have their dream jobs, and others don’t. The point is, if you want to figure yourself and a direction out, you eventually will. If only because you really want to.

Relationships can and will change.

Sometimes they just need time to recover, and sometimes they won’t. Being honest is important, because that could solve a lot of misunderstandings. But it’s also okay to let go of relationships that no longer add value to your life. Self-care is necessary.

Sometimes, you’ve got to force yourself to take the first step.

As an anxious person, this is a tough one. It’s difficult to find a balance and only you know how much you can handle. But with smaller tasks or challenges, I’ve found that when I managed to take that first step, I’ve felt so much better afterwards. Whether that’s taking a walk when you feel weighed down, going to the cinema alone or with people, or even spending a quiet weekend with Netflix or a good book. If it makes you happier, why not?

Embrace who you are, and stop trying to please everyone but yourself.

So much fell into place when I did, and now I know where I stand and what I will and won’t accept anymore. I grew up around people who meant well, and some who didn’t, and vocalising thoughts about my race and ethnicity felt like a minefield. So I kept quiet, and found myself suffocating under the weight of my own being. Then I let it all go. I can’t say all the friendships I had have lasted through being called out, but that says a lot.

Surround yourself with what makes you happy and inspires you.

Whether that’s new makeup and clothes, taking time to watch YouTube videos, reading articles, having a dedicated friends’ night, whatever it may be. Find ways to surround yourself with those things. Because you’ll smile and laugh more, you’ll learn, and you’ll feel creative. And those may seem small things, but when your outlook is positive, it’s much easier to tackle a challenge.

Never give up on your dreams

Ever. Keep working hard to achieve them.

But what about you? Is there anything you’ve found worth remembering?